8-22-24 Update
It’s been a while since I’ve written an update on the family. I’ve been doing live streams on facebook most weeks but those have primarily been focused on sharing encouragement and revelation.
Some exciting news is that I released my first worship song onto major music platforms. Over the course of 8 years of writing and two trips back to Oregon to record, I got the masters back for “Good To Me” and I uploaded them through Distrokid to all music platforms. It takes some time for these things to post to serviecs like Spotify and Apple Music but in the mean while, I uploaded to my Patreon here for early access. It’s a song written in the fires of life to give people language when they are standing in the uncertainty and tension of life in the space between the breakdown and the breakthrough. It’s a hope anthem and it will inspire you. Take a listen and be blessed.
On August 8th, Joel and I were on our way to the airport at 3:30am to send him to be with our Oregon family for his birthday gift and we were rear ended by a man going full speed while we were stopped at a red light. Thankfully, it could have been far worse than it was as people die from these kinds of accidents all the time. It wasn’t ideal to say the least. We are still in the settlement process with insurance so there’s not a lot I can say about it but I can say that it isn’t one of those settlements that people get rich off of.
I had been recovering from an injury that caused me to have to walk away from my job in April and I was finally recovering when this accident happened. We had fallen behind on our mortgage payments from the previous injury and the Dr. is telling me that recovery from this accident will still take some time. I haven’t been able to find work that fits in with my current capabilities under the circumstances and we need some help catching up on our bills. We need $5,000 to bring us back to current. That includes two months of mortgage payments we have missed and paying off the credit card that we had been using to pay our bills (it’s an air miles card that we paid off each month when I was bringing in steady income that allows us to visit our PNW family using air miles.)
The house is still a construction site in 2/3’s of the house. That’s a whole other project that I don’t even know how to quantify right now. It’s inherently overwhelming and I’ve had to stop looking at it until I can do something about it.
It feels like my ability to do anything other than my calling has been stripped away. When I list my capabilities, I am capable of doing all that God has asked me to do. My limitations are very real, but listing those is barely helpful beyond accepting them. It feels as though I’ve been hedged in by thorns. It’s how God got me into heeding His call to ministry in the first place 19 years ago as well. He had been calling me, and I marginally responded until it was the only way forward and it appears to be the case once again. I want another way, but the other ways seem to be closing down.
What is that call? It’s the call of a messenger, the call to create art, spaces, and other resources that help people to connect with God. That’s it in a nut shell. I’ve not really taken this call seriously believe it or not. FB live streams are a half-hearted obedience at best. It’s included in the call but I know that it’s a very small part. I’m called to be out on multiple platforms putting out far more content than I have been. I’m also called to facilitate encounters with Jesus through worship events and I have been negligent in that area of my calling.
I’ve had a vision in my heart for a long time that I call “The Burning Church”. Simply put, it’s a church expression that introduces people to the Jesus that I know. Not the evangelical California white guy surfer, felt-board Jesus. But, the Jesus for whom all things were created and through whom all things exist. The Jesus who reconciled the Kosmos to Himself on the cross. The Emmanuel Jesus who loves more scandalously than most religious zealots can stomach. A Jesus I rarely encounter inside of almost any church I’ve been to.
I’ve been longing for a community and prayer expression that I’m just not finding anywhere I’ve been and the only conclusion I’ve come to is that the only way to experience what my heart longs for is to build it. To create it. It’s what drives me to make the music I do. I am not finding the music I want to hear. That means I probably have to make it for it to exist in the world. It may have to start as an online community but I’m in a place in life where I don’t have any other direction that seems workable and the idea of trying to do things my own way and ignoring the call of God feels dumb when I already feel like I’m in the belly of a whale. Do I really want to look for another merchant ship at this point? I feel like Jonah. Please pray for us.
How’s Erika and the kids? They are making it through. Joel is dealing with minor stiffness still from the accident, but otherwise, he is focuses on shaping his future plans and moving back to Oregon as soon as he is set and funded, probably next year. Tirzah and Rhema are homeschooling again this year and Asher is going to a private school that caters to his learning needs well. Good news, we just got word that the dental work he desperately needs done is finally going through! Due to COVID shutting down hospitals, combined with us moving cross country, he has been on a 3 year wait for a full mouth dental rehabilitation. We have to drive him 4 hours down to Ft. Lauderdale to get another surgery plan on the 29th, then surgery is September 24th. Please pray that all goes well, and they are able to save as many adult teeth as possible. His chromosome deletion has given him very soft dental enamel and this has been an ongoing problem his entire life. We are beyond thankful for this procedure finally opening up to him. Erika is gearing up for the upcoming school year and hoping for a good working van in the next few weeks to get her through the commutes down south for the dental visits, as well as the year long school commute. Please be in prayer we are able to get a suitable replacement for the van that was totaled in the accident. This summer has been rough for the kids, since we weren’t able to do many fun things, but overall we are all looking towards the future with hope: Hope that things will get better. Hope that the house will get finished. Hope that we can find some community and more friends this year.
What we also need is Help: Help with catching up these bills so we can keep a roof over our family’s heads. Help with prayer support so that we can stay focused and protected as we try to make these dreams and visions a reality. Help with encouraging words and shares when we drop content that speaks to you. We want to do this with people, in community, hand in hand. If the Lord has blessed you and you feel led to walk with us, then please reach out or visit our GIVE tab on the blog.
Thank you for taking the time to read our update and pray for us and thank you to all those who have been standing with us in this season. Good things are coming. In the face of this, a picture of hope and the goodness of God is being birthed through this. Testimony is being formed through this and I believe that something good is about to happen!
Matt, Erika and The Bond Fam